Thankful for 2020

 It's been a long while, I know. There are multi reasons for not posting recently, but rest assured that all is well. Shannon is doing great!!

I've been focusing on what I am thankful for and I can't do that without acknowledging my gratitude for 2020. It's been a long hard year. Fantastically hard, actually. I would love to say things got hard with all the shut downs, kids home, work stuff shifting for my husband. I would love to *just* have wondered what to do with the kids to keep them entertained, and what school options we should do, and how long can this thing honestly go on. I know no one *just* endured that. I know there is much, much, more going on in everyone's households. We have certainly had our share and then some of difficulties. So here is my list of things I am grateful for, that probably doesn't look quite like it should. 

I am grateful:

That the country was shut down and we had to learn to live differently

That my kids got in an accident

That Shannon was seriously injured

That Rachael and I got in an accident

That my son's wedding plans were canceled

That our family vacation was canceled

That I've fought with the medical insurance company almost daily for months

That I injured my foot

That my mother-in-law almost passed away in July

That I hardly got to go paddle boarding

That I couldn't handle things on my own

That we missed having our annual parties

That we had to celebrate birthdays quietly

That school was changed to home and we had to quickly adjust to that

That our washer broke--- twice

That I got a cortisone injection in my foot and have never endured that kind of pain before- not even childbirth

That we lost power and our well pump sucked a bunch of gritty grime into our home plumbing

That we had to renovate our basement in 9 weeks without the world being open

That we lost heat in our home for over a month (it's still not working)

That my mother-in-law passed away

That we can't celebrate Thanksgiving with our family and friends

That there have been too many to count moments when I wanted/needed to give up

--That's enough- but not all of my list. --

Each of these moments of 2020 has taught me SO MUCH, have GIVEN ME so much. If there ever was a time in my life I have been put through the refiners fire: THIS. IS. IT. And I can look back at this point and say that *I* recognize the changes that have happened in me. I recognize the gifts, the miracles, the strength, the faith, the endurance, the patience, the long-suffering, the compassion, the humbling, the empathy, the power of God working in me, in my life, in my family's lives. 

I have felt the love of not only God, but of family, close friends, and close neighbors. I have made new friends I probably would have never met without these experiences. I have felt the love of PERFECT STRANGERS who have reached out to me and to my family in our times of need. 

I have spent time with family I wouldn't have seen if not for the trials we were facing. 

I have seen amazing strength in my children- things I never knew about them before. 

We- the world, in general, have found a common element and many of us have been unified by it. Many of us have joined together in calling upon the Powers of Heaven to make it through this. 

I have had armies of angels in my home, both seen and unseen. I have felt their love and presence and their sustaining help. I love that our Prophet- Russell M. Nelson, has had so much to say to us these past months- so much guidance and direction. 

I have felt so intimately, the love that my Savior has for me. 

My family has been strengthen in ways that would normally have taken years- or maybe never have been. 

I believe in me. That's been a hard thing for me. Something happens and I immediately think "I can't do this". But this year I have learned that there isn't much I can't do, because I know where to go for help. As multiple "disasters" happened in our household at a time, you could definitely hear me cry to heaven  out loud: "OH COME ON!!! Seriously? MORE??!! Isn't THIS enough?" Now I just leave out that last part- because I know the answer is no. If it was enough, I wouldn't have more. And I believe that I can handle all the MORE. It's hard. It's really, really, hard. I'm not candy coating it. BUT, it's not hopeless. 

I HAVE HOPE. 

Would any of these blessings have happened this year without all of this? Maybe a few. 

You can't have something for nothing- at least not anything worth having. I, for one, want all the things I have been given this year. 

I don't think 2021 is going to be a whole lot better than this year has been; although I hope it has less tragic happenings in my own family. 

We have all grown this year, in countless ways. For that- I am THANKFUL for 2020.