Today was a weird day. Weird because I was super busy, but while I was trying to think of what I've actually done today...nothing. Well. I went to Walmart. I pulled weeds out of my garden so that I had an excuse to be outside. I cleaned up some things, organized some things. I freaked out about my efforts to clean up drywall dust for the 50 bigillionith time turning the basement into a cloud of dust again. That was the low point. So low. Lancer and Little Big Jake just stood there trying hard to suppress laughter- while I yelled at them to not even THINK about laughing. Then I stomped off like a spoiled toddler. That's when I went to Walmart to pick up things Shannon needs when she's home. I listened to my "get through" playlist. But some days you just can't get through. And that's why my last productive day at home before the crazy of crazy starts on Wednesday, I did nothing.
For the people reading this that actually know me, this is me, telling you again, I don't have it all together. I'm just human, even though you think I'm some kind of weirdo who can actually handle all of this situation. You do what you HAVE to do. We all do. But that doesn't mean you have it all together, it just means you *might* not be falling completely apart. Will everything be ready by Thursday? Nope. Am I worried about that? A little. I know it doesn't have to be perfect. We are at a point now that there will be a room for Shannon, and the ramp is ready so she can get into the house. We may have a bathroom, but it might not be done until Saturday. But that's okay. That's not bothering me. I think what's really worrying me, is my desire to have Shannon comfortable when she comes home, and I want her to have the least amount of disturbance to her routine. I want to have the things she NEEDS ready. I want this new start to feel like a good thing.
I think that all of THIS is finally catching up to me. Like the fact that it's currently 12:38am and I'm writing this. I have to be up in 5 hours. The stress, the not enough sleep, the everything. It's all coming to the part where it's up to US. Can we be what Shannon needs? I sure hope so.
Today Shannon did some things. I'm letting her tell it from her text message. I talked to her for about 3 mins today. (weird day)
From Shannon:
Pt where I almost died. I laid on my stomach and did exercises and got into my hands and knees with help, then held it with little help for a while. Then rec we played smart mouth and struggled hardcore. Then I snuck into the art room for an hour and painted my transfer board. Then music we just played around with stuff. I’m still not convinced I want to try to regain my singing voice. Thennn speech we talked about info she’s gonna give me and outpatient therapy. OT I sat crisscross applesauce on the couch upstairs per my request to learn so once again I finagled that session. Then art I worked on my board and it’s dope... then I crashed in bed.
My favorite part of her day is where she finagled her OT session. She really struggles with her occupational therapist. Tomorrow is "dress rehearsal" day, and that means a shower at the crack of dawn with her OT observing so she can check off Shannon's progress on what she is and is not able to do on her own. Doesn't that sound fantastic? Anyone else want someone observing their shower? Not I. So knowing Shannon was able to convince her OT to do something SHE wants to do- sit crisscross applesauce (That really is what we all still call it), that made my day. Not that there was much in the competition depart for today. Weird, weird day. She FaceTimed me while she was doing this whole OT thing, SOOO excited because she was sitting on a couch! I asked her if she was comfy, and she said "ummm ya. Maybe. I can't feel anything, so ya." :D
Please pray for Shannon to keep up her positive attitude for the next couple of days while she finishes up her time at Magee, for her blood pressure to be where it needs to be so she can do her therapies, and for all of us to get the things done we need to so she can come home and be comfortable. Thank you for loving us!!
Today's quote come from Mr. Walt Disney, himself:
"Why worry? If you've done the very best you can, worrying won't make it any better."
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