May 12, 2020

Do you see that girl in the middle of the pioneered up ladies pulling a handcart? That's my Shannon. Every four years, our church does a pioneer trek experience, where youth aged 14-18 spend three days dressed as pioneers, doing pioneer things to get a better understanding of what others have done for us, and how they overcame trials. Many of us have pioneer heritage, and can read stories of our own relatives crossing the plains, and sometimes the ocean and THEN plains to settle in the west.

Because of the way Shannon's age fell within the four year cycle, she was able to go on not one but TWO pioneer treks. She spent 3 days pulling a handcart, cooking food over an open fire, sleeping in her sweaty clothing in a sleeping bag under the stars; and for one of the three days- eating very little appetizing food (Lancer and I were in charge of the food, and the other two days, we made sure everyone ate more than enough!). There was also a lot of talk about faith, endurance, sacrifice, love, persistence, and humility. All things that Shannon's fourth great grandfather, William Clayton and his family (as well as several other relatives in our family tree) needed to endure to make the 2000 mile trek. That same grandfather traveled first from England to the USA, and then made the trip to Utah. William also helped to invent an odometer to measure the distance to help others with their travels along the trail. He was a songwriter as well, and wrote the lyrics to a song entitled Come, Come, Ye Saints. The music is an English Folk Song. It's kind of an anthem within the membership of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

I'm sharing this because Shannon is at a point where this is becoming really hard. She's been in a hospital for a conscience 7 weeks- in the same room for 6 weeks; doing the same things day in and day out. She can't see the improvements she's making, and she's having lots of "give up" days. It's so hard to see that struggle and not be there to buoy her up. I don't have adequate words to share with her that this is just a moment in her eternity, and have her believe it. Today I was thinking about the tough stuff that Shannon is made of. She's strong. She didn't HAVE to go on Trek twice- she CHOSE to. She chooses hard things a lot of the time. She chose to work for our friends who have a company that sells auto cleaning products. They had a contract to clean school buses. Shannon cleaned SCHOOL BUSES. Every. Afternoon. During. The. Summer. When was the last time you were on a school bus? It's beyond disgusting. It's hot and the chemicals to clean them are not nasal passage friendly. But she did it, and she did it well.

She has strong, tenacious, endure-to-the-end blood running in her veins. She's a fighter. (but there's that memory issue- so I suppose she's forgotten that she's a fighter)

William Clayton's song came to mind today when I was thinking about Shannon and her trials. It's very fitting:

1. 1. Come, come, ye Saints, no toil nor labor fear;
   But with joy wend your way.
   Though hard to you this journey may appear,
   Grace shall be as your day.
   ’Tis better far for us to strive
   Our useless cares from us to drive;
   Do this, and joy your hearts will swell—
   All is well! All is well!
2. 2. Why should we mourn or think our lot is hard?
   ’Tis not so; all is right.
   Why should we think to earn a great reward
   If we now shun the fight?
   Gird up your loins; fresh courage take.
   Our God will never us forsake;
   And soon we’ll have this tale to tell—
   All is well! All is well!

Those words were penned while traveling the plains, while loved ones died, while husband's were separated from wives, while babies were born along a trail, while people were persecuted and driven from their homes. Hope. Strength. Endurance. Faith. Courage. Humility. Happiness in your trials. We are not given trials that are more than we can handle. They teach us, they shape us, they help us become. Sometimes we suffer so others can learn to be more caring and compassionate toward us. But we are never left alone in our trials. This I know. Shannon is in the gentle care of our loving Father in Heaven.

Not a lot happened in the life of Shannon today, some OT, some PT, some art and rec therapies. She's had a regular day.

On the home front, we had angels in our basement pounding away again. A lot of progress was made. I've struggled with feeling like Shannon is feeling more than usual these last few days. This is a lot to take in, and I feel like I'm drowning here.  Lancer asked me today what the most important thing is that I feel like I need to get done. I told him that I need to make sure that when Shannon comes home, I know how to take care of her needs,  and we have everything we need ready so I am able to help her. It felt good to verbalize what I really am afraid of, what I really need to focus on. The rest isn't important. The kids can find their own food in our well stocked fridges and pantries- if needs be. The insurance companies don't need me to respond immediately, I don't have to answer the phone every time it rings, I'm no longer needed to make renovation decisions. We have help. Everything will be fine. So I need to stop making up reasons to be overwhelmed. (can you be just whelmed? You can be overwhelmed, and underwhelmed..... ;) So I need to make sure my attitude about the situation reflects that. I can't change what's happening, but I can change how I feel about it.

Shannon could use more prayers for her continued improvement with her respiratory system, for her endurance and willingness to do her therapies, for the faith to heal and overcome, and for her strength to improve so she can be more independent. Thank you for supporting her in all of this. She needs us all.

Her calendar meme for today (Shannon would have had the tiger AND just hopped onto the flying carpet):



And the Disney Quote for today by the wonderful Captain Jack Sparrow- reminding us that a lot can change in the way we face our difficulties:

The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.